I hate GoFundMe campaigns. No, I’m not paying for your midnight moonlighting gig or for you to launch a product (not without at least seeing a prototype and a business plan beforehand) or to travel the world. But, I am all about you getting your life together and overcoming real life crises. Vanessa Gritton’s campaign to help her “divorce this dick already” is just that – and then some.
Not only did the Burbank, Calif. resident raise $300 to divorce her abusive husband and fix her life, she empowered thousands of women with her real AF request (and made me drop a tear or two in the process).
She took to the crowdfunding site with the following:
I am not sick, I have a home, and I’m not funding an indie film nor do I need to pay a bookie. I am still married to my abuser though so that fucking sucks. I’ll try to keep it hella brief.
I have tried to get my divorce for two years. Begged for it. I stopped fighting as hard when a visit to gather his things turned into an assault because hey, let’s have the worst thing to every happen to me be sparked by an argument over a tacky suede vest.
Needless to say, after that, I didn’t call much to ask what was the ETA for my freedom. I hid in LA and soon met the people that would build me back up after spending 5 years being broken into nothing.
He’s evaded my attempts at signing and yesterday after deciding that I’ve worked hard to rebuild my life since he left me living in my car, I fully intend to live it happily and that means making sure I’m not legally bound to the amalgamation of all of my worst fear. I decided to give him a call and figure out some shit. For the sake of explaining this Go Fund Me I will break down the conversation that followed to it’s greatest hits:
After he told her she could only get divorced if she came up with $1500, she did some research, discovering that she could free herself from him by Christmas for the low, low price of $600. Since she already had half, she took to GoFundMe to get the rest.
I called every lawyer I knew and hit up the free legal consult at my job and learned $1,500 is in fact, an idiot sum. I can get this shit done for about $600. That amount I totally have part of and can be divorced be Christmas (Is that a country song? It should be a country song.)
So, the 300 is for the remaining fees. The paperwork, the filing, anything that I do not have at the moment but need to get done ASAP. I plan on having everything filed by the end of this month. Also like 20 bucks for a bottle of Henny I plan on consuming in celebration.
When it’s all said and done, she’s not bitter at all about the whole thing. More like petty – but in the best way possible. And she’s going to have karaoke party to celebrate.
Here’s my request, after all is said and done, we’re having a party in December. A divorce karaoke party. After it’s over and I am free I will save and throw a re-bachelorette party because I cannot find enough petty ways in the world to say “fuck you” to fill this petty heart of mine and the satisfaction of every action is delicious.
So help me complete the biggest “fuck you” with a crowdsourced divorce. You don’t even have to donate. Feel free to leave a fun note because I am absolutely printing the comments and leaving it in a manilla envelope on his front steps because no woman should feel afraid, or ashamed, or made to feel like a victim.
It’s too late to get in on the donations as she made far above her goal. She closed them off saying she could not “in good conscious” accept anymore. She’s committed to donate a portion of the extra funds to local shelters and charities. You can, however, leave her abuser an eff you note that she will gladly print and share with him. And, if you didn’t know, her open pettiness was not a call for physical retribution, but for reclaiming her power.
This isn’t about a hunting down the person that hurt you. Because he hurt me. But he does not define me. It’s about reclaiming the life and the person you were before it all happened. The second you’re free, ever second you live and every step you take is a celebration. Everyone that shared their story on this page deserves to celebrate. Take care of each other <3
This is everything right now. We all face sh!t that feels like too much to overcome, but when we do, good God, it’s so freeing! Her victory didn’t happen overnight, and she’s still got to finish this battle, but she’s already won. Not only did she get out of a toxic environment, she found her peace and her voice and gave a voice to so many unheard victims of domestic violence. That’s pretty damn powerful.
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